Nov
30
Filed Under (Uncategorized) by Rachel on 30-11-2007

There have been a bunch of happy, nice, lovely posts on this site this month during NaBloPoMo. What hasn’t been on the site is the whiny stuff. Well, today is different. And not just because my site was down.

Yesterday I fell down the stairs. We have really steep stairs, and the downstairs is thin rug over concrete. Thankfully, I didn’t hit my head. I did manage to bruise and scrape my butt and my arm. I also whacked my overly-sensitive back wonky. I lost one of my shoes, too. (Update: I found the shoe!)

Chronic Lyme has left me with a sieve-like memory. Yes, worse than “mommy brain”. Unfortunately this means that some people think I’m blowing them off, but I’m not. I’m just having trouble doing everything and remembering everything.

It has also robbed me of my ability to multi-task. I cannot think of two things at once, much less do two things at once. Not even listen to music and write.

It means that if I’m going to take a shower and brush hair, I know that I’m going to have aching shoulders for hours. Add that x3 if all the kids need help. Same thing for mashing potatoes. Thank goodness for helpful girls!

It’s robbed me of friends. Both because dealing with someone sick for 2 years is a burden so they withdraw, and also because I don’t want to burden others, so I sometimes withdraw first.

It’s also robbed me of things with my children – slinging LG as long as I would have otherwise, breastfeeding her as long as I would have, pushing on the swing, running with bikes flying kites, swimming in cold water, all those things.

Its robbed me of money. That $250/month again to medical expenses. There are a lot of other ways I’d like to spend that.

Most of all, Chronic Lyme has robbed me of my spontaneity as well as my ability to plan. I never know what each day is going to hold. Even now that I’m doing better, I still have good days and bad days.

Comments

susie on 30 November, 2007 at 4:08 pm #

It looks like we both fell down the stairs yesterday. I think that it was because I wasn’t paying attention, but the ER doc suggested that maybe it was the Raynaud’s. :( I’ve been losing my toes more and more often, and I don’t notice losing them as often as my fingers. Interestingly, to me at least, I haven’t had an episode with my fingers once while being out here. It’s been cooler than I am used to, as well. I’ve used my gloves quite a bit; I have to admit.

You are always in my thoughts, Rachel.


Karen on 30 November, 2007 at 4:55 pm #

{{{{ HUGS }}}}

sending your virtual chocolate and tea.

Karen


Carol on 30 November, 2007 at 6:24 pm #

If anyone deserves to whine, it’s you. I think of you a lot, and I always read your posts, even if I don’t often respond.
I am relieved that the fall down the stairs wasn’t worse, although I’m sure that you will be feeling the repercussions of it for some time. :(


yur mum on 30 November, 2007 at 6:51 pm #

Oh dear. I agree with Carol — you’ve had far more than anyone’s share and it’s OK to whine when something happens on top of the usual pain to make you hurt even more. Everyone who loves you hopes that your treatment will work, and start to work faster, so you can be your lively, lovely, happy self again.


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    • A Gaggle of Girls


      About Me: I'm a Mom living a busy life with 3 girls (11, 9, 6) who have just started school for the first time, Celiac Disease, , Chronic Lyme Disease which acts like Fibromyalgia, job-hunting, 1 cat, 1 puppy in exile, and a lot of books as we stay with family in New England. We eat great, homecooked, allergy safe food due to our food allergies & sensitivities.


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