Filed Under (health care, kid stuff) by Rachel on 13-04-2008
Rapt attention

There are days moments when my daughters frustrate me. There are times when I want to send them to their grandparents for the next few years hours. There are times when I think about duct taping their mouths shut encouraging them to play the “quiet game”. They are very active, loud, exuberant girls, and there are times when I wish they would all just lay on the couch and relax for a few days hours.

When my health stuff is acting up, and I’m achy, hurting, whiny, and tired I don’t really want to deal with their energy levels and their joyful noises, I get annoyed easily. It’s not easy to parent in an ideal way when you have a chronic illness, especially one that includes fatigue and pain. It’s easy to wish that I had quiet kids when I’m in need of quiet.

I spent two days in the past 2 weeks helping out my friend in person, bringing her food & wine, listening, and helping her brainstorm. (I spent a lot more time on the phone with her and brainstorming on my own, too) While I was there, I saw her son hanging out on the couch, as he has done for the past month. All day. Her son has always been an active, engaging kid who will still snuggle and do quiet things, but not all the time. Seeing her son sick and so quiet was so hard for us, and I can’t imagine how hard it is for her.

Nothing is going to change my kids into Stepford-kids, and I would be lying if I said I will never wish them quiet ever again, but something changed for me last week. My heart is aching for my friend’s son, as well as for my friend. As much as I hate being sick and trying to parent, I am exceedingly grateful that I am the one who is sick here, not my kids. It is hard to be sick and parent, but it is heartbreaking to be a parent of a sick kid.

I’m trying to help my friend (bring food, wine, and a listening ear and people will love you!), help her son, but there is so much I can’t do and can’t control. It makes me hug the girls extra tightly. When i can get them to stop moving, that is! Sometimes it’s really good to have quiet story time at least once a day!


Dana Jones on 16 April, 2008 at 11:08 am #

I have “spa time” with my niece instead of quiet time. We lay back and put lavender pillows over our eyes and listen to the rain forest cd. 20 minutes is all I can get her to do. She’s 10.

game to play on 17 April, 2008 at 8:01 pm #

[...] are times when I think about duct taping their mouths shut encouraging them to play the ???quiet gahttp://ourgaggleofgirls.com/agog/2008/04/13/hug-them-tightly/WATER POLO: Consistent play by the Aztecs continues, despite loss to No. 1 UCLA Daily AztecJenna [...]

Carrie on 19 April, 2008 at 8:16 pm #

You are right. I’ve always been a teeny bit jealous of those kids who sit still and don’t make their parents crazy! But I’d take my personality-rich kids over a Stepford-kid anyday.

Having a sick one really does put it into perspective. I hope your friend’s son is well soon.

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[...] our hearts are lighter. My friend’s son has been sick for the past 6 weeks, and I have written about him before. We were really, really worried about [...]

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