We have another snowstorm, which is leaving me reading, pondering, and praying about the changes in our lives. So here goes…
I believe, and I have faith that there will be “glory which shall follow after much tribulation.” 2 We are in the midst of the tribulation part, working toward the glory. I know that we will be stronger and happier and in a better place after these tribulations. I also know that we will have help from Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, and the many people in our ward, our homeschooling friends, our other friends, and our family.
I knew this would happen eventually, but I kept hoping against hope – we are being evicted, and need to move out on the 19th. This isn’t going to be easy, and I’m not particularly happy about it. It’s a big struggle for the girls, too – so much change!
That said, we have an opportunity to really start fresh, and to clean out our physical, emotional, and spiritual spaces. I am learning to ask for help (it’s much harder than it sounds!), and to literally get down on my knees and thank God for my many blessings, and ask for His help right now. I am so grateful for my wonderful girls, for our pets, and for the wonderful people in our lives. There are so, so, so many hard choices right now. I have been following the guideline “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good,”3 and trying to go in the direction I’m led by the Spirit. It’s very, very, very humbling.
Jesus has taught us that we can learn when we are humble -”Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” 4 Well, I think I’m well and humbled at this point! I prayed a lot on Thursday and received a blessing, needing strength and hope and help with a place to live. Much to my surprise, on Friday morning we received an offer from my family for temporary housing and help with storage of our stuff & pets. “Ask, and it shall be given unto you,” 5 indeed!
I’ll keep praying and working to get a smallish apartment somewhere reasonably close to where we have been living, but it is nice to know we will have a place to go! A place that is smaller, yet not as remote, and also more walkable will actually be an improvement. Ideally without too many stairs, too. I’ll ask for a car, too, while I’m at it!
The past several months have been so incredibly hard, and I’m so, so, so grateful to my friends, faith, and family. I couldn’t do this alone, and being the Strong One for the girls can be a real challenge. It takes a lot of weight off my shoulders to know that I have help and support from so many directions – it’s not easy, but I can get through.
Just to add a small whine in here – my tailbone injury from a week & a half ago isn’t yet healed. I’m on a second round of steroids to help with the swelling, and I’m still on the extra fun painkillers to keep me semi-functional. Injury + chronic pain + stress = not fun. I know that it will pass, but it’s still Not Fun.
We’ll get through this time, though. We will get through it with some help, and we will be in a better place when we are done. For now, we just need the strength to carry on. “The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”6
Call it the Force, Karma, the Creator or Heavenly Father, in the end we can only receive what we choose except. You and the girls are truly blessed to have people who care so deeply for you. You are all loved by many and things will work out the way they need to, even its not how we would always like them to be.
Here is a little affirmation to to keep you going.
The light of God surrounds us;
The love of God enfolds us;
The power of God protects us;
The presence of God watches over us.
Wherever we are, God is.
And all is well.
Thank you father.
Rachel, I’m sorry church is canceled this morning because I was looking forward to seeing you and your family. Although we all have our challenges in life, it is nice to have someone to help us when our trials are at their greatest. The 19th is a semi-holiday at many offices and a group of us could help with the move, I’m sure. What can I do to help?
Rachel, your family loves you and the girls deeply. This time is, and will be, a challenge for us all. Spiritual faith is a great support, and I’m so grateful that you’ve found meaning in your faith. We all want to make this work, to help, to heal, to reach a place where we can be happy and productive and get you off to a fresh, healthy start for the next stage of your journey. We will all need to be open to the challenges that this change will bring, and be ready to help each other with love.
I’ve been reading you for a long time (years). And have never commented!
I believe I first followed you here from beanmom. . .but I can’t remember now. (I’ve an lj that I attend to regularly).
I’m LDS and didn’t know we had that in common. how did I miss that?
I have enjoyed reading about your girls, and your efforts to find a healthy way to feed you all.
Have silently hurt during your struggles and hard times, celebrated when you were published.
I hope the next phase of your life goes well, and no matter what the Lord does have you in his hand and sights. He will fight your battles for you and nurture and heal you all.