If you are living with food allergies, Celiac disease, food intolerances, or any other dietary restrictions, you are already used to adapting your menu. But what happens when one person wants to be a vegetarian? or you move into a home where people eat dairy? or your children have opposing allergies? or you have one kid who loves peppers and another who hates them? You learn how to adapt your menus so you can make (almost) everyone happy with one meal.

After 11 years on the food allergy/intolerance roller coaster I got on soon after becoming a mother, I’ve rethought my approach to food many times. I think that I was lucky, as I had been a vegetarian for several years before I became a mom, and so I was used to the idea of reading ingredients and cooking from scratch. Label reading is hugely important for food allergies/intolerances, and since I was already accustomed to looking for hidden ingredients, I had a leg up on the challenge of grocery shopping. Additionally, since I was not using many prepared foods already, it was easier to just change the ingredients in my cooking; I didn’t need to suddenly learn to cook.

The challenges I think any parent of a child with food restrictions needs to accept are Adaptability and Love of cooking. If you can accept those, you’re going to be ok. As a cook who had been very successful in the past, I had a very hard time accepting that some of my first gluten-free creations had to be tossed outside for the birds and squirrels. I had become too accustomed to being complimented on my cooking! This was also good preparation for when my kids got older… However, I now pride myself on making great food despite the food restrictions, and I’m hearing a lot of compliments again!

For Mother’s Day, I made a double batch of quiches, and made them in individual sizes so each person could have the ingredients she wanted. This meant that those who like soy “cheese” could have some, and those who like bacon can enjoy without upsetting the new vegetarian. Individual pizzas, quiches, mexican pizzas (tortilla, refried beans, ground meat, salsa, soy or dairy cheese), and tacos are some incredibly easy ways of letting each child eat the ingredients she loves.

One of my favorite adaptation methods is “on the side”. I loved When Harry Met Sally, and I’m afraid I may sound like Sally when I’m in a restaurant! However, at home I have embraced that concept with my daughters. We make salads with dressing on the side, of course, but also make Pad Thai with the shrimp, limes, and peanuts on the side, a risotto with meat and/or cheese on the side, a vegetable curry with meat and some veggies on the side, or make a meal of pasta or polenta with marinara or White Sauce and sausages or meatballs on the side.

I’ve told my daughters many times that they aren’t “allowed” to be picky because they have so many dietary restrictions. This doesn’t actually work, but it’s a good idea, and honestly they are much less picky than most kids I know! My daughters have been told that they can quietly push ingredients they dislike to the side when they are served their meal, but they cannot throw a fit. Again, it’s a good theory, and it does work with a lot of casseroles. I think that by doing quite a bit of “on the side” or individual meals, they might be more willing to accept a rogue mushroom or pea in their soup!

It’s amazing how a simple strategy, such as starting with one base and then expanding that for individual tastes, is a good way of making almost everyone happy. Set aside a section of the grill for the vegetarian, toast rolls on foil rather than the grill, so the grill doesn’t end up with gluten on it, and make everyone plain hamburgers, letting people add dairy or soy cheese once they are served.

When you start to think about meals in a new way, a way where everyone can enjoy a similar meal, you can find new ways to deconstruct dinner. A buffet of choices for pizzas or ice cream sundaes becomes more fun, not just a way to accommodate food allergies and pickiness! Shifting your perspective to fun rather than a chore can help you enjoy your meals, too – not just feel like you need to get through them somehow.

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Hide and seek is fun with kids, but not so much fun with food. It’s amazing what you can find hidden in your food, allergens where you don’t expect them.

I discovered while breastfeeding my third daughter that corn made her congested and ill, so I spent a year avoiding corn, until she (thankfully!) outgrew it. Avoiding corn is not just avoiding popcorn, corn syrup, corn on the cob, and corn tortillas, but corn as a “hidden” ingredient. If you haven’t read The Omnivore’s Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals, by Michael Pollan, I can clue you in on the first quarter of his book – corn is in everything.

If you eat a lot of prepared foods, you are eating a lot of corn – and I think you’d be surprised at how much. Even if you don’t eat a lot of prepared foods, you’re still eating more corn than you think. Don’t believe me? Let’s try this experiment – go find 4 things in your pantry or fridge:

1. a drink

2. a condiment
3. a form of protein
4. a starch (ie: bread, crackers, etc)

Make sure that you can find the ingredient information, we’ll come back to that in a moment.

Recently, there has been more awareness of high fructose corn syrup, so we are starting to see a move back to cane syrup (aka sugar) in juices. I was thrilled to buy a bottle of Ocean Spray Cran-Grape, and see “no corn syrup” on the bottle! Of course, there was still “hidden” corn in the drinks, but avoiding corn syrup continues to be one of my goals, though it’s not always achieved.

This comes to mind today because I received two corn-related alerts. Melanie at My Little Patch of Sunshine is having a giveaway (enter by the end of tomorrow!) related to the new Pepsi Throwback, Mountain Dew and Pepsi made with sugar rather than corn syrup, available for 8 weeks. Meanwhile, Modern Mom’s “must have” for today is reusable and disposable plates & utensils for kids, made out of corn. Ack! I wonder if all the processing makes the corn no longer an issue for people with corn allergies… Definitely something to ponder, and given the rising prevalence of corn turned into eating utensils, yet another thing for the corn-sensitive to watch out for!

Now – back to your food, and the corn in it. Read the ingredients. See if you can spot the corn in there. Do you see corn syrup, corn starch? Quite possibly. In addition to those ingredients, I’m willing to bet that you have hidden corn in at least 3/4 of the foods you chose. Compare your ingredients to the 7 hidden corn words after the jump…

• citric acid

• ascorbic acid
• vinegar
• modified food starch
• lactic acid
• dextrose
• caramel color

So, how did you do? Please leave a comment, I love getting a peek into people’s cupboards!

There are many more, which you can see listed here. I’m OK avoiding gluten, dairy, and berries – we eat quite well, and after having had to avoid (at different times) corn, soy, and eggs, our current list isn’t that big a deal most days. I’m so glad we aren’t avoiding corn any more, for so many reasons. I love being able to use confectioner’s sugar, and being able to drink something other than water occasionally when out!

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Yesterday was an amazing day. My book contract arrived, and I signed it, and it was mailed off to the specialist I’m working with. He signs it, sends it to the publisher, and then we get $!

Then we went to the beach with a friend and 2/3 of the dogs (dogs are allowed at the beach after Labor Day). Jack hung out at home while Harley and Ra came along for the ride. I took a few pics you can look at them here. We had a wonderful time, and really enjoyed the beautiful day.

If you’ve visited here over the past few years, you know that I’ve been living with Chronic Lyme disease and chronic pain, as well as a few other diagnosis. Yesterday was the first day i walked up the hill from the beach without collapsing or needing the inhaler. It was a Good Day!

After the beach I tested a few recipes – mmmm, donuts!

I ended the day exhausted, but happy. May we have many, many more days like that!

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So….

I left on Wednesday night, stayed with my friend K in CT. Then went over to my Nana’s house. Helped out and visited Thurs. I helped Nana and Bob in the morning, then my other Nana in the afternoon on Friday. Saturday I helped garden, and hung out laundry on the clothesline. I stayed with my friend K Saturday night, and really enjoyed the 1:1 adult time.

The trip was a lot of work, and exhausting, but I’m very, very glad I did it, and I look forward to going down and helping again relatively soon.

Sunday I let to come home. What did I find upon my return? Children ecstatic to have me back, but itchy and fussy. A grouchy husband.

And as a bonus? 3 children with the chicken pox. Yippee!

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Yesterday we noticed that Jack had some blood in his urine. Oh joy. As the day went on, he started acting a bit lethargic, not his usual, energetic self. (Earlier in the day he was fine, as he was in the pic at right) This morning he wasn’t even interested in giving kisses. The blood thing kept happening, and just like a human with a UTI, it happened frequently, and was the first time he ever had an accident in the house, and then it happened several times.

So, after we went to coop, I came back and we took Jack to the vet. He isn’t running a temp, but from what we described, he thinks Jack is passing bladder stones. So, he needs to do bloodwork and then sedate him for an ultrasound to see how serious the problem is. It felt very wrong to leave Jack with the vet.

I know he’s a dog, not a human. But I just can’t cope with much more. So everybody please think good thoughts and send “you’re OK” vibes to Jack? We really love him, and he’s our ball-fetching, loud snuggle bug.

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There are days moments when my daughters frustrate me. There are times when I want to send them to their grandparents for the next few years hours. There are times when I think about duct taping their mouths shut encouraging them to play the “quiet game”. They are very active, loud, exuberant girls, and there are times when I wish they would all just lay on the couch and relax for a few days hours.

When my health stuff is acting up, and I’m achy, hurting, whiny, and tired I don’t really want to deal with their energy levels and their joyful noises, I get annoyed easily. It’s not easy to parent in an ideal way when you have a chronic illness, especially one that includes fatigue and pain. It’s easy to wish that I had quiet kids when I’m in need of quiet.

I spent two days in the past 2 weeks helping out my friend in person, bringing her food & wine, listening, and helping her brainstorm. (I spent a lot more time on the phone with her and brainstorming on my own, too) While I was there, I saw her son hanging out on the couch, as he has done for the past month. All day. Her son has always been an active, engaging kid who will still snuggle and do quiet things, but not all the time. Seeing her son sick and so quiet was so hard for us, and I can’t imagine how hard it is for her.

Nothing is going to change my kids into Stepford-kids, and I would be lying if I said I will never wish them quiet ever again, but something changed for me last week. My heart is aching for my friend’s son, as well as for my friend. As much as I hate being sick and trying to parent, I am exceedingly grateful that I am the one who is sick here, not my kids. It is hard to be sick and parent, but it is heartbreaking to be a parent of a sick kid.

I’m trying to help my friend (bring food, wine, and a listening ear and people will love you!), help her son, but there is so much I can’t do and can’t control. It makes me hug the girls extra tightly. When i can get them to stop moving, that is! Sometimes it’s really good to have quiet story time at least once a day!

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This has been a very whiny moaning weekend. I’m hoping Monday is a vast improvement.

After reading so much Garfield, I can’t quite believe I’m looking forward to a Monday!

Weekend Math:
3 kids + 3 dogs + 1 cat + 1 husband + 1 headache + 1 achy body = 1 difficult Rachel, feel sorry for those who have to live with me!

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The neurologist from the Big Hospital called with the results from the vampire-style skin biopsy. I have small fiber neuropathy, which is, of course, Rare. So rare, in fact, that the Local Neurologist had said that it wasn’t possible. I’m glad I took the advice of my Good Friend Sue and pursued a neurologist in Boston.

I have the osteo arthritis and now Small Fiber Neuropathy quantifiable diagnoses. The “fuzzy” diagnoses of Chronic Lyme and Fibromyalgia are ones that people can debate. It’s nice to have a diagnosis that isn’t questionable. Invisible pain is hard to explain and justify.

However, now we need to research Small Fiber Neuropathy, and make more doctor’s appointments. How severe is it? What can happen? Is there any option besides treating symptoms? Will it go away when the Lyme is gone?

More questions with more answers. Rare condition? check. This is starting to feel normal. How many rare conditions can one person have? I wonder if there’s a World Record for that!

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• If you have a fever & sore throat, don’t  throw a hissy fit and yell at your children.  Firstly, because they are probably not as annoying as your sick butt thinks they are.  Plus, if you yell with a sore throat, it will just hurt more and for longer.
• Try to get sick over a weekend so your spouse can help out with parenting. If that doesn’t work, then just keep calling your spouse at work to whine.  Alternately, if your throat hurts, IM your spouse with your current temperature reading.
• It’s good timing to receive 2 boxes of books from Amazon right before a weekend when you’re under doctor’s orders to put your feet up!

Another random tip or two:

• Hitting refresh over and over doesn’t make an email you are awaiting come any faster.
• It is good form to acknowledge when your dog alerts you to a car (or truck, or person, or seagull..) passes your house. It is poor form to sulk when the FedEx or UPS folks deliver a package to your neighbors but not to you.

Life’s just chugging along here.  The evil migraine/headaches are starting to ease up, so there should be more book reviews posted in the next few days.  There’s, um, a bit of a book backlog.

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I met my lovely friend Sue, and we had coffee and looked at the Complete Idiot’s Guide books vs the Dummy’s books. We decided we like the CIG books better – for one thing, they use better fonts. For another thing, they pull the tips off to the side in a box, rather than putting an icon in the margin next to the regular text. We also thought the text in the CIG book wasn’t as dumbed-down, and we liked how the lists were bulleted or numbered – if you have a top 10 list, they should have numbers next to them! (Plus, they’re the ones with my book proposal…)

Then we went to the hospital and I got shot up with lidocaine and had two 3 mm holes punched in my leg just above my ankle. Lidocaine burns! Ow. When we were applying pressure to stop the bleeding, the two little bleeding holes reminded me of all my favorite vampire books. I’d rather have a vampire bite than a skin biopsy myself.

I got a doctor’s order to rest & elevate my foot, so we went to look at more books, I geekily pointed to all the new fiction I had read and reviewed, and then I got on the train to go home.

My great luck with the Green line continued – there was an electrical fire that shut down the trains, so a trip that should’ve taken about 30 minutes took about 3 times that. We left the bookstore at about 4:30, and I didn’t get home until 8:15. The trip didn’t really allow me to rest & put up my foot. Ah well.

I think I need to rest tomorrow after all that excitement today. The vampire bite needs to be under a clear bandage for the next week, and watch for bleeding and/or infections. We’ll find out if my nerves are all normal in a month to six weeks. Next medical stuff is Lyme doctor in Boston on Wednesday.

I’m hoping to do another train-into-Boston-alone trip on March 3 to see Felicia! I’ll end up with an autographed copy of her book! (and maybe have some sushi…)

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